Nobody Has a Map

by Mary S on March 3, 2012

This past month or so has been very busy with work and personal projects. I’m a bit worried about how things are going with Mom and Dad but I haven’t made the time to keep in touch. In the last few conversations with my Mom she’s talked about not being able to remember things as well as she used to.  I’ve noticed that she is having difficulty remembering recent events and is very much in the ‘now’ of the moment.  If she were a Buddhist, that might be a really good thing, and I hope it’s a peaceful place for her.  Unfortunately it makes it very difficult for me to learn how they are really doing, what they might need, and how I can help.  The lack of historical perspective, even for the history of last week, means that I may not hear about something important that has happened.  And coupled with the shortened perspective is a longstanding reluctance to talk on the phone, which I think is shared with many of her generation.  Bring both of these together and add my living 2,000 miles away, it makes for a bit of anxiety on my part, which grows as the time between visits gets longer.

My brother and sister-in-law live much closer, but I think even they are anxious and uncertain.  We are all trying to navigate these uncharted territories of helping our aging parents.  Sometimes we try doing it together, sometimes we’re alone but none of us really have a map to show us the way.  Nobody knows. And the needs keep changing.  We’re all trying to do our parts but none of us know the right thing to do. So we’ll continue along doing what we think is right, adjust to the changing circumstances, and hope it all works out in the end.

I hope it’s going well but I just really don’t know. The best way to know for sure is to go there for a visit. So for me that means its  time to call my folks and get another trip on the calendar

Until next time,
–Mary

 

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